Fun Stuff

Just for fun, here's an edibly sweet version of Bill Clinton, who was in Pristina, Kosovo, yesterday for the unveiling of a larger-than-life statue of himself on a boulevard named after himself. Kosovo's ethnic Albanian majority holds Clinton in high esteem for his role in the 1999 NATO bombing campaign against Yugoslavia, which helped stop the Serbian forces' crackdown on ethnic Albanians.

Photo: Armend Nimani/AFP/Getty Images

The Halloween mask above is supposed to be Secretary Clinton. It's on sale at a store called Party Warehouse in Silver Spring, Md. Perhaps Samantha Power -- the former Obama advisor who called Clinton a monster -- might want to purchase one.

JEWEL SAMAD/AFP/Getty Images

Although Clinton has been busy promoting peace in Northern Ireland and reconciliation between Turkey and Armenia, she was able to make time to broker a peace between late-night comedian Conan O'Brien and Cory Booker, the mayor of Newark, N.J., who was recently offended by one of Conan's jokes. In a video clip, Clinton attributed the squabble to Conan's recent head injury. The transcript it here.

No matter what the National Examiner says, Hillary and Bill Clinton celebrate their 34th wedding anniversary this Sunday. The two married Oct. 11, 1975, in their home in Fayetteville, Ark. Secretary Clinton will be in Europe, but this year isn't the first time their busy schedules have kept them apart on their anniversary.

Photo: Jemal Countess/Getty Images

Check out the signs in front of Secretary Clinton in the photo above: "President" and "United States."

Secretary Clinton got to preside over a session of the U.N. Security Council today because the United States holds the rotating presidency this month. She called for a vote on a resolution to end wartime sexual violence, and it passed unanimously.

Then in a speech, she declared:

Even though women and children are rarely responsible for initiating armed conflict, they are often war's most vulnerable and violated victims."

She also said: 

The dehumanizing nature of sexual violence doesn't just harm a single individual or a single family or even a single village or a single group; it shreds the fabric that weaves us together as human beings."

After Clinton ended the speech, a humorous moment (captured on this video) ensued. She said, "I resume now my function as president of the council. I kind of like being a president. So this may go on a little longer than anticipated."

The diplomats laughed, and U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon said, "Thank you, Madam President."

In other Clinton-related news, American essayist and political activist Gore Vidal has revealed that he regrets shifting his support from Clinton to Barack Obama during last year's Democratic presidential primary. In an interview with The Times of London, he said he thinks Clinton would have been a better president and said:

Hillary knows more about the world and what to do with the generals. History has proven when the girls get involved, they're good at it. Elizabeth I knew Raleigh would be a good man to give a ship to."

Today is a bit of a slow day for Secretary Clinton news -- she has been on vacation -- so for fun I thought I'd share an issue of the National Examiner I saw at the grocery store checkout line on Sunday. The article (not available online) reports that unnamed sources are saying that "the former first couple has finally decided to separate and remain married in name only."

Clinton is supposedly enraged that husband Bill, a former U.S. president, has been stealing her spotlight, such as when he rescued imprisoned journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee from "evil dictator Kim Jong Il." An "insider" told the Examiner that the secretary told Bill, "You've upstaged me for the last time," and then the couple agreed to secretly separate.

As for a divorce, there's no way that'll happen before daughter Chelsea gets married. A source told the Examiner:

"They wouldn't do that to Chelsea. … They'd want to be a couple on her wedding day for her sake. … I think eventually they will divorce, but not until Hillary is done with her political career. Even though Bill continues to outshine her, she still needs him."

There you have it, from a trusted news source.

Photo: National Examiner, cover of Sept. 7, 2009 issue

Comedian Conan O'Brien's Clinton jokes last night:

Yesterday in Africa, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton lost her temper at a college student when he asked her a question about her husband's opinion on a certain issue. She got mad. I can understand why she got upset, because the question was, 'Who's hotter? Megan Fox or Eva Longoria?'"

and:

No, both Clintons, all over the news. While Hillary's in Africa, Bill Clinton's in Las Vegas celebrating his birthday," which "begs the question … why is Bill the one who woke up 10 feet from a goat?"

A few tidbits of Hillary-in-Africa news, the first a lighthearted piece:

•Referring to a Kenyan man's offer of 40 goats and 20 cows for Chelsea as his bride, Clinton said she would convey the "very kind offer" to her "very independent" daughter.

•Clinton meets with Somalia's president in Nairobi, Kenya, today.

•Clinton hailed India as a model of democracy for Africa, saying that the country's 1 billion-plus people "have figured out how to run an election where the results can be surprising and unpredicted but accepted." For more about elections in the world's biggest democracy, check out the FP photo essay, "The World's Biggest Election."

•Clinton said it's a "great regret" that the United States is not part of the International Criminal Court (ICC). Her husband Bill had signed the ICC treaty, but Congress never ratified it and Bush didn't care for joining.

Photo: Chris Jackson/Getty Images